HOW I USED TO LIVE WHO I THOUGHT I WAS HOW I USED TO TRY HOW I USED TO PLEASE EVERYONE
IT ALL HAD TO BE LAID TO REST. RIP.

RIP OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS

☠️ ☠️

RIP OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS ☠️ ☠️

I’ll give you the cliff notes version of my life (but if you want more, HERE’s a juicy podcast episode with all the deets).

I’ve always been tightly wound, constantly wanting better, a bit entitled, pretty competitive, and never felt like enough.

Despite appearing confident and put together to others, internally, I was a wreck. Every day I felt like I was barely holding on, one slip up from a meltdown, or just like a flat-out fake because behind closed doors I was nothing like the put-together person people saw during the daylight.

I spent over 15 years of my life at war with myself. My body, my demeanor, my blunt, outspoken way of being, my genuine wants and desires, with food, booze, everything! Always thinking if I just pushed harder, tried harder, focused harder, THEN I would figure it out.

If I just moved, got another job, got another relationship, lost weight, took on more, made more money, got someone else’s approvable THEN I would feel content.

But wouldn’t ya know, everywhere you go, there you are.

The problem wasn’t my food, my job, my geographical location, my body, or anything else. The real problem was I was never letting myself be me. I never stopped to breathe or to recognize that “Hey, maybe I don’t suck as bad as I think.”

I never thought to ask myself, “what do I really want and need right now?”

I stopped fighting against myself, I stopped living for everyone else’s approval,
and started amplifying exactly who I was.

IF I HAD TO GUESS…

You’re running yourself into the ground. You’re tired, both physically & mentally, trying to be all the things to all the people.

Yup, even those “randos” you’ve actually never met.

I know this because I rode shotgun on that bus every day for 15 years. Doing all the things, busy AF, with little to nothing to show for it.

Unless you counted my shitty self-worth, reactive demeanor, amazing opportunities i destroyed, and over-zealous way I annihilated a cheeseburger (or 4 + fries and a shake) on a Friday night, and a bottle of Tylenol on a Saturday morning followed by a punishing workout.

Things came to a screeching halt when my Mom passed. A ‘what am I doing with my life?” kinda halt. Death has a way of really changing your perspective on things, am I right?

Here’s what we both know:

We have to stop waiting for the right moment, the right time, the right circumstances. They’ll never come.

No more playing it “safe” in your career (that you hate, btw).

No more listening to everyone else and ignoring your intuition.

No more turning to the fridge, bottle, or any other device that’s keeping you numb.

Start living the life YOU really want.

It’s time to kill off old ideas of who you think you are and let go of other people’s expectations.

It’s time to get out of your own head and start living life on your terms.

It’s time to get ballsy.

It’s time to get ballsy.